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20 Reasons Why Im Bitter

1. I live in a generation of Americans who don’t know what the words “variable” or “Adjustable Rate Loan” mean.

2. Pets.com really wasn’t worth 60 dollars a share.

3. There just aren’t enough Erectile Dysfunction commercials on television.

4. Bruce Springsteen has made millions singing about being poor.

5. There are still large sections of America that are without the services of an In-and-Out Burger.

6. The death penalty still does not apply to bad drivers.

7. I own an SUV and want the gas mileage of a small Honda Civic. I can have one but not the other. This is simply unfair.

8. My neighborhood wont allow me to park my Personal Water Craft, RV and speedboat in the driveway, which requires that I spend extra money on a storage space.

9. When I fly on airlines, some people have more leg space than I do and get better food.

10. There are large numbers of people who think that Dane Cook is funny.

11. My 47 inch plasma HDTV is heavy and hard to lift.

12. I have 500 channels of television to watch, and there’s not one thing on any of them worth watching.

13. Not one of my three Tivos will record in HDTV.

14. Seafood is only good when its fresh, and I live two hours from the beach.

15. In fine restaurants, polite smokers are always segregated from the general public, yet noisy, smelly, misbehaving children are always welcome and are given the best seats.

16. Soylent Green is people.

17. I now own 'Blade Runner' in 5 different DVD formats.

18. Other peoples ringtones, suck.

19. My gardening service only works one day a week.

20. If I was an irresponsible ass who became a drug user and fathered half a dozen kids out of wedlock, went bankrupt walked away from my mortgage and didn’t pay my bills, the government would provide any number of programs to help rehabilitate me, but if I live a straight life, pay my bills, live within my means and take care of my family, the government can only say that I don’t pay enough taxes and that its only fair that I step in to help people who live in the other category.

Posted @ April 14, 2008 04:09 PM | Current Affairs

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